It was a harsh week. Started down and got worse as the week went on. At my counselling session Kay, my wonderful therapist, was concerned enough that she arranged a visit to my doctor for medication to help the sleep and anxiety.
Hope is a strange thing, when you need it most is when it seems to desert you. Earlier in the week I was without hope, and for someone with depression that is a very bad thing. Kay accused me of being a nihilist[2], which I vigoursly denied. Anyway after I looked it up on Wikipedia I realised that yes I am a nihilist - sorry Kay. What this means is that life, my life, in and of itself holds no special value. Without some purpose, some reason, some quality of living I do not see the point in continuing to exist. As you might imagine this is also a dangerous feeling when one has depression. Especially without hope. If you aren't getting better but are getting worse. When the best estimates put any signs of recovery at months, and in the worst case years.
What a difference a day makes.
I have now had two nights of uninterrupted sleep, no nightmares, just sleep. The difference in how I feel is amazing.
Finally some good news.
The list of side effects[3] for this new drug are horrific but if it gets me some sleep I'll take them all. I need weight gain like a hole in the head but at least with the cataracts I won't be able to see how fat I've become.
The side effect that is most obvious is the somnolence[4], hence the title of this post. It's like the rest of the world is going just a bit faster than me. The desire to nap is overwhelming. In fact I think I'll just go catch another 20 Zzzzzzzz....
Quote of the Day
Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.[5]
Sources
1: Zombie Apocalypse
2: Nihilism
3: Quetiapine Side Effects
4: Somnolence
5: Author Unknown
Thinking of you Ants. I hope the fog clears for you one day soon : )
ReplyDeleteJenny (taylor)